I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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