Already got asked if we're dating
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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