I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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