Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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