I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
