What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Randomize
