Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
