Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
