awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Randomize
