i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
