Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
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i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
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You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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