can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
