There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
