you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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