i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
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I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
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I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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