i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
ttyl tear gas
There's always time for handjobs
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New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
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Why are your pants in the freezer?
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
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