i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
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