it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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