She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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