I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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