Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
