do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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