if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize