found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
