Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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