if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
