apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
