The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
