Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
