we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize