im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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