Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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