My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
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