she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
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