so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize