I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
