there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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