a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
