The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
We don't watch enough power rangers
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
