whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
