He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Randomize
