And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
