There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
