I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
