I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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