I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
