great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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