clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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