Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
He did a backflip because drugs
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