don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
