I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
