Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
