We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
