Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
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