false alarm. still invincible.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Are we still banned from the library?
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize