I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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