i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
