I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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