My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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