I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
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