Old men and throwing up are my life now.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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