I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I wish I only lived at night.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
