i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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