sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
