It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize